Tears Roll

Sunday morning my body was still on the 4am wake up call. I had plenty of time to sneak out for some quiet time before my roommate awoke and the rest of the group began to gather. By Monday wake up was more like 6am and the coffee addicts had already begun to gather for their refills, trampling through the freshly mopped floor.

Job 11:7-9
Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty? They are higher than the heavens – what can you do? They are deeper than the depths of the grave – what can you know? Their measure is longer than the earth and wider than the sea.

Over the past 4 years, I have been blessed that one of my many lessons from God was to be still and spend time with Him. Most days I have a few hours to spend reading, talking, and listening to God. In Haiti spare quiet time was hard to find.

Isaiah 25:4
You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in his distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat. For the breath of the ruthless is like a storm driving against a wall.

There was always something to be done, someone to prepare for, people to get to know, deep conversations to discuss, rain to play in, but I craved my quiet time. Time to be still and reflect, to hear what God was saying, time I needed to process and digest emotions and actions. To get back to my center, to be grounded, focus and make adjustments. By Thursday I was going stir crazy looking for some place I could escape but at the same time not wanting to miss out.

Job 11:13-16
Yet if you devote your heart to him and stretch out your hands to him, if you put away the sin in your hand and allow no evil to dwell in your tent, then you will lift up your face without shame; you will stand firm and without fear.
You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by.

Job 11:17-20
Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning. You will be secure because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety. You will lie sown with no one to make you afraid and many will count your favor. But the eyes of the wicked will fail and escape will elude them; their hope will become a dying gasp.

On our way home from VBS, traffic was crazy as always, over crowded with people on the side of the road, cars, Mack trucks, busses and overcrowded mopeds.

A snap shot of our ride home;

in the oncoming traffic were several mopeds, 4 or 5 with 2-4 people on each of them. Out of nowhere, a moped with 2 or3 people on it, zipped through traffic, zigzagging around other mopeds creating a panic amongst the other drivers. The crazy driver zips away, sending the other mopeds crashing to the ground scattering bodies everywhere. As we all scream, our driver slams on the brakes just shy of running over all of them. This seemed to be the nudge that pushed us all to our braking point.

At lunch, Jennie asked if we could go around the table and talk about our feelings, (as I try to bury them under the “I don’t feel that” file). As the team begins talking, tears burn my eyes, as they continued, tears roll out, as they conclude, tears roll, as we eat lunch, tears still rolling. It seemed like the perfect time to find that quiet place. I left the table, went to the room and sobbed uncontrollably. It seemed as though the week’s emotions were coming out all at one time. I didn’t know what else to do so I just sat there and sobbed.

When I thought I had it together, I returned to the table. By this time most of them had finished lunch. I tried to eat but had lost all interest and of course I began crying again.

Salt of the Earth

On our last day to experience Haiti, we had a day full of places and people to go and to see. Breakfast was fabulous as it had been all week and our spirits were up, excited about the day. Shortly after breakfast we hopped in the van for what was to be a short drive to the beach. A 15 minute drive turned into a 45 minute drive.
Matthew 5:13
You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.
The beach was breathtaking. Small pebbles covered the shore of the most ice teal blue water I have ever seen surrounded by mountains. The waves didn’t roar like the Carolina coast, but flowed through pebbles making a calming sound all its own.

Jeremiah 31:35
This is what the Lord says, he who appoints the sun to shine by day, who decrees the moon and stares to shine by night, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar- the Lord Almighty is his name:
Your breath (inhaling and exhaling) is similar to the flow of an ocean. The slower your breath is the slower your heart is. The crashing waves of the Carolina coast resemble a hard exhale. Haiti’s coast of a soft flow is a replica of a calm, gentile, slow relaxing breath. In a world of such hurt and devastation Haiti’s shore resembles peace and a sense of controlled calmness.
Matthew 5:14-16
“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”
As I sat on the pebbled beach I soaked in memories and moments, thoughts and questions, that had collected throughout the week. I wondered how a place so picture perfect could outline a place of destruction. I thought, we shouldn’t even be at the beach, having a good time laughing and sitting in paradise when not even a mile away lives a family hurting, hungry, lonely and lost.
Isaiah 25:1
O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name; for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago.

Haitian men came to haggle us to buy things, most having the same stuff. One guy came by with the largest crab I have ever seen, still kicking. Gregg purchases the crab and the guy takes it down the beach to cook it. Gregg gets all of the Haitian guys that work for him and send them down the beach to enjoy the freshly cooked crab. For a few minutes those 5 or 6 guys enjoy a gift they more than deserve. The site of it warmed my heart and made be smile inside. Thank you, Gregg, for loving Haiti.
1 John 3:23
And this is his command: to believe in the name fo his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.

A small feast

Day 5

“The sights of the city are still numbing but I think I’m getting more accustomed to them. It still shocks me when I open the door and the smell hits me. I'm reminded it’s not a dream ...

we are still in Haiti.”

Isaiah 41:17

"The poore and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. But I the Lord will answer them; I the God of Israel, will not forsake them."

Isaiah 41:13

For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

One of the missions and passions of Love Haiti Mission is to feed the children of Haiti. Every day that week Love Haiti purchased food for the children, and the mommas prepared it while we were at VBS. Handing out crafts is one thing, handing out food is all together another, so we were not there for that.

Lamentations 3:32-33

Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.

Wednesday, Gregg took us to see how the food for the children was prepared at a nearby home. We walked maybe half a mile down a dirt road, tip toeing around puddles of who knows what. As we walked down the road children played, people worked, goats ate on piles of left over burnt trash. Some of the Haitians went in and brought back others to see what must have looked like an American parade of white people. They all looked, pointed, smiled, and chatted about us, just as we did them, except we had cameras.

As we traveled to the home, Greg explained the reason we had to walk so far was so the towns’ people wouldn’t smell the food or know we were giving food away. After the mommas cooked the food they would pack it in a cooler to hide the smell and bring it to the church. Monday when they gave out food 2 fights broke out over food. Just a reminder of how people act during desperate times.

Luke 18:27

And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.

When we get to the little concrete home the preacher knocks on a metal gate, says something in creel, then we enter, walking through a sheet covered doorway. I was one of the first to walk in the small dark little home. I didn’t take the time to notice the surroundings, but I remember thinking it looked surprisingly like a home.

(On the last day of VBS we stayed while the construction team finished up. We were able to see the kids receive lunch. Some of us helped hand out the plates of food and gather the plates, licked clean, from the children that were finished eating. Empty plates and silverware collected were reused and handed back out to the children waiting patiently for food. )

I Thessalonians 5:16-18

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

(This is my little sweet one. She held my hand most of the week. Never spoke a word. Every now and then she would look up at me with those big brown eyes and smile a big sweet smile. She reminded me of me. I would have taken her home if I could.)

The mommas were so sweet and welcoming. There were about 5 of them, greeting us with hugs and smiles, all with the look of total pleasure that we had come to visit. They must have cleaned for days making the home spotless and it was. Through a short maze, we ended our journey on a small concrete patio the size of my closet. In the middle of the patio was a log rock fire with a large pot of rice and beans cooking, beside it a pot with just beans, another with rice and a bucket with beans soaking. A table by the door had all of the other preparations on it. Those mommas were so excited about us coming; they had every step of the process sat out for us to see. They must have scurried around for hours making everything perfect. Their kindness and generosity was humbling.

Luke 22:27

For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? It is not the one who is at the table. But I am among you as aone who serves.

We stayed only a few minutes then headed back. When we arrived back at the VBS tent, all of the children were seated on the benches, listening to our translator telling a story out of a coloring book she found in our craft suitcase. Every one of them was seated like little angles with both eyes on her. She was perfect. She told the story with excitement and humor. After she told the story she told the boys one of them had to come up front and tell the story from memory. It was the cutest thing. A boy came up, told the story with the exact enthusiasm as our translator. They all clapped and it was a girl’s turn. I’m not sure what all was said but some of the girls stood and clapped and the boys laughed. One of the translators must have seen the confused looks on our faces because he leaned over and told us, because none of the girls wanted to tell the story, the girls had to stand and give the boys a round of applause. As I watch this process continue, the translator telling a story from a coloring book, followed by one boy and then one girl coming to the front to repeat the story, I was amazed. These children had never been to school but were engulfing this opportunity, well behaved, obedient, and loving it. Children in America would have had a million complaints, and parents probably would complain that the teacher embarrassed their child.